Saturday, 23 March 2013

Girls Aloud for beginners

Following the split of Girls Aloud and me being in mourning of them, here is two Top 10s; one of their best singles and one of their best non-singles. Let's go:

Non-Singles

10. Graffiti My Soul - What Will the Neighbours Say?
'SPIKE HEELS AND SKIN TIGHT JEANS I GOT A FISTFUL O' LOVE THAT'S COMIN' YOUR WAY BABY.' No more need be said.

9. Close to Love - Tangled Up
Brilliant, catchy, punchy, signature Girls Aloud. It was hard to choose between this and Control of the Knife, but the pace and undeniable chorus of Close to Love just edges it.

8. Models - Chemistry
Girls Aloud: the only pop band that could use the lyric 'You get your kicks like flies to shit' and make it sound fabulous. Sigh.

7. Hoxton Heroes - B-side to Can't Speak French
A massive 'fuck off' to little scrotes such as Jake Bugg. Truly wonderful.

6. Miss You Bow Wow - Out of Control
Doesn't make much sense, has one of the best choruses ever and has a DANCE INTERLUDE. Amazingly amazing.

5. Damn - Tangled Up
This song is never in any Girls Aloud top tens and it's really annoying 'cos it's fucking amazing. The guitars are sensational.

4. Love Is The Key - Out of Control
Jangly, a bit 60s, has Johnny Marr on harmonica. Case firmly rested.

3. Girl Overboard - Tangled Up
Electro-Aloud at their very very best. Every single part they sing fits their voices perfectly.

2. Black Jacks - Tangled Up
I can't even begin to describe how good this song is.

1. Rolling Back the Rivers In Time - Out of Control

Johnny Marr guitar riff better than most Smiths riffs. 60s girl group song better than any actual 60s girl group song. Most perfect piece of pop music ever to grace this planet.

Singles

10. Long Hot Summer - Chemistry


Was gonna put in Something Kinda Oooh but I prefer this. They are both very good.

9. No Good Advice - Sound of the Underground


Along with Sound of the Underground, No Good Advice put them firmly on the map as not-actually-being-a-shit-generic-girl-band. Should perhaps be number one just because of Cheryl's "NO NEED TO COUNT THOSE DIRRRRRTY SHEEP".

8. Untouchable - Out of Control


Would be higher, but the single version is nothing compared to the full 7 minute album version. A wonderful, chilled out, yet kind of still 'banging' electro pop song.

7. The Loving Kind - Out of Control


Passionate, Pet Shop boys goodness. There is literally nothing you could ever dislike about this song.

6. Sexy! No No No... - Tangled Up


So good that it is beyond a joke. Would be higher if others weren't also so stupidly good.

5. Love Machine - What Will the Neighbours Say?


If you don't like this song/think the Arctic Monkeys cover is better, you should not be alive.

4. Call The Shots - Tangled Up


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Brill.

3. Sound of the Underground - Sound of the Underground


The foundations, the beginning, the start of something wonderful.

2. The Promise - Out of Control


Needs no caption.

1. Biology - Chemistry



The most ridiculous, most inventive, most fabulous piece of music, never mind pop  music, the world has ever seen. Phenomenal. Yep.

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